As i got out of my house, i looked up upon the stars to see that this night made me realize that i dont feel like myself lately . I think that theres something severely wrong with me. Maybe its critical, maybe its serious, or maybe im just out of place. Well i feel out of place. So i think its the 1st one and 3rd one. Maybe all? Ahh.. What to do? Well i need to go to sleep, but im in Insomnia mode right now. I feel really tired, but i cant go to sleep. I wanna go to sleep, but just cant go into dream mode.
To think about it, i havent had dreams in the longest of times! I dont even remember what my last dream was about.
I never really dream of DBSK which awefully sucks big time! And i really want to dream about them. I want a long big dream about them.
I think i have that feeling right now? You know, the feeling where you just want to get out of this place and go somewhere where you can get away from everyone. Where that place sets your mood? Where you can just look up to the sky full of twinklying stars. Where you can just think about your life for a moment. And i mean really think about it. What you want to do in the future.
And while being in that place i can just stare off into space,
and dream about Yunho Jaejoong Changmin Junsu and Yoochun.
I want to go to a place were i have no worries. No time what so ever. Were the clock isnt ticking on you to hurry up so that you can go back into being sad, depressed and angst.
Well thats just how i feel right now. Im usually just happy when i think about DBSK.
Not the kind of depression where you just want to kill your self, but the kind severe enough to just forget about everyone and everthing in your life. except for the kind of people you want to be in it with you and love.
Thats the kind of place i wish i can just dreamed into right now. Where i can just fade into.
But its quite sad that this is just an illision of my imagination. Though its my imagination taking control over me right now. Its real enough for me to believe that one day i can go to a place like this and just THINK!
Im super tired. My eyes are half opened and i really want to go to sleep. But i never have enough time to go to sleep. Seems like days are getting longer and nights are getting shorter by the second. And i really think it is. I'll try to go to sleep. But i know for sure im going to wake up in the middle of resting these eyes.
Tomorrow will be another day for the rest of this life. But not my life. Just this life for now.
Jaejoong you know exactly how im feeling!